Life has turned from bad to worse.

I am no longer focusing on my work. I spend quite a large portion of my time/money on things that don't seem important right now i.e. on MTG and thinking about crap.

I've lost all my motivation to work hard and do well, and this week is packed with assignments which I just feel like ignoring and leaving them undone. I am tired of studying and hoping to do well when most of the time I simply just don't do as well as I hope to.

I am also starting to get caught on emotional feelings towards a special person. It just seems crappy that I am hoping for something unachievable, not because it is practically unachievable, but just because I am the way I am, and would never attempt to make the first move to change the way things are. I have always been a passive person, often putting the blame and issues on myself, and never making the change that we are supposed to do in life.

I am just starting to feel taht I am unfilial (although I love my family and friends), and feel that nothing has gone right at all this semester. I hope this crappy feeling will end soon, and I'll become the normal self that I was supposed to be. Hey, but I never really know what I was supposed to be in the first place.

Fucking emo post...